Guidelines:

• Meet weekly. Doing the meeting at the same time each week can help make it a habit, but schedules change, and it’s fine to adjust the time as circumstances dictate.
• Minimize distractions/interruptions.
• Jot down notes during the week. It’s useful to jot down notes in the days leading up to meeting on things you’d like to talk about. But you don’t need to have a set agenda at the meeting, unless you’re the uber-organized type. It can be free-flowing.
• Bring your organizational devices/notebooks/apps to the meeting. You’re going to be scheduling stuff and will want to write down dates and to-dos. So bring your paper or digital planner, or use other apps to keep track of these.
• Keep the meeting to about 30 minutes. A half hour is long enough to cover the 4 stages of the meeting, but short enough to keep it focused and productive. Err on the side of shorter over longer, so it doesn’t feel like a drag.
• Cultivate a positive atmosphere. Each spouse is responsible for coming to the meeting in a good mood and with an upbeat, patient, positive attitude. Each spouse should try to use a supportive tone throughout the meeting and abstain from any griping or criticism. (Constructively working on issues is okay — but not snark or empty complaining.) “A good goal for each meeting,” Berger says, “is that it should inspire you to want to meet again a week later.”
• Allow both partners to feel ownership in the meeting. The more verbal partner should allow the less verbal partner to speak first at times, and should actively solicit feedback, instead of dominating the meeting.

1.Appreciation

Each person says “everything you can think of that you specifically liked or admired about your partner during the past week.”

2. Chores and Commitments

Discuss chores that aren’t getting done, and are occasional rather than re-occurring + upcoming commitment expectations.

3. Date Night / Quality Time Plan

Plan in moments to enjoy

4. Problems + Challenges